ATTACK OF THE CLAW

So, it would appear to be 1.15am and I'm sat here typing a blog. Got work tomorrow, but never mind.

I've been struggling to sleep as of late, despite being physically tired. I guess I know the reason too. There has been no real mental stimulation in my life as of late. All I do is get up, go to work, come home, have dinner and then go to bed. This lack of activity is causing me to dwell on things too much, . If I'm lucky I'll have band practice, which keeps me occupied for a few hours. I've been trying to work on Albatross Conspiracy, but I'm finding it hard to come up with anything that isn't cliched and, well, shit. Starting a piece and then deleting a whole evening's work because of a bout of doubt and self loathing probably isn't the way to go when tyring to record an EP. People keep on asking me about new AC stuff, things like "When will you do some more gigs?" or "How come you haven't done anything in a while?" I need to find a way to get over this musical dry spell. Maybe replacing the HD in my ibook it the way forward. I certainly can't get any work I'm happy with done on this netbook. There are little sketches of songs/pieces, but that's all they have remained.

This year has been a bit of a very high/very low thing. Have found another person I know has taken their own life this recently. At least my friends will no longer be tormented by themselves. Sometimes its the only option left, I guess. The pain of mental illness cannot be easily cured and sometimes...well. I feel bad for their families but at the same time..I can understand why people do it.